By Joree Rosenblatt

We all want more of the good things in life. Who wouldn’t?

As soon as we have a taste of something delicious we are reaching for the next bite. When visiting a beautiful vacation destination, we say, “I can’t wait to come back,” often forgetting that you are actually still there.

There is nothing wrong with wanting or striving for more, as long as there is appreciation and gratitude for what is arising in the moment. We tend to get stuck in the mindset of thinking that more is better, often failing to notice the good right in front of us.

I recently went to my happy place – a wellness retreat center on the cliffs of the California coast. The energy and healing spirit of the grounds is the perfect place to disconnect from distractions of everyday life and reconnect with yourself and other like-minded people. There is also natural hot springs built into the cliffside, just feet above the crashing waves of the Pacific. It truly is a magical place to be.

Despite the weather report predicting rain, upon my arrival I couldn’t detect a single cloud; all I saw was the vibrant changing colors of sky at sunset. Though California is in a severe drought, selfishly I was grateful for the nice weather and took a moment to pause and soak in the beauty around me. This is an easy place to remember to pay attention and be present.

As I walked out of my workshop at 10pm that night, I was amazed that the sky looked like a planetarium, and I got fixated on wanting to see a shooting star. I think shooting stars are magical; I mean, who doesn’t, right?!

Shooting stars are gifts from the universe as reminders that there is something bigger than us; some mystical, celestial, astronomical force that has its own energy, trajectory and life force. And when we are lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, coupled with the awareness to see what is around us, we get to see one.

I was really hoping – no, rather, I was determined – to see at least one shooting star. So I walked towards the hot tubs with my neck arched all the way back with my eyes fixated on the heavens, and was very disappointed that I did not see any at all. On a night like this, I would’ve thought shooting stars would have been abundant.

I reluctantly let go of my attachment of needing to see a star, and upon settling into the hot tub, I looked up, and there it was: a huge shooting star that went all the way across the sky. I smiled with such gratitude and appreciation that I was in the right place at the right time to see it, and I made a wish.

I remained in that tub alone for probably an hour, having an intense sensory experience – the warm water, the cool air, the loud sound of the waves crashing below, the stars glistening in the sky above. I felt peaceful, content, happy, grateful and a strong desire to see more shooting stars.

I lost count at probably around 10 or so. Though they were coming with fairly consistent regularity, I still felt a surge of joy with every one that I saw. However, I began to experience something that also resonated in my everyday life: as soon as I have a beautiful experience, just being in the moment and being grateful for it doesn’t seem like enough.

I hold onto it. I strive for more. I get caught up in the “what’s next” rather than truly honoring and appreciating “what is.” I somehow think that holding out for some perceived better unknown in the future will satisfy me in a way that the present moment can’t.

With this awareness, I sat with myself and noticed my habitual tendencies to strive, cling, attach and live for a future moment. Just moments prior to this little epiphany, I had told myself that “I’ll go to bed when I see just one more.” And then I’d see it; it wouldn’t satisfy my desires, and I’d sit there waiting for another. And then another one would come, and still it somehow wasn’t enough.

I then began to laugh at myself for the patterns that I apparently so easily fall into, even after I bring awareness to them. Habits are hard to break, as they happen so unconsciously! So, I intentionally chose to turn to gratitude for the opportunity to experience such a beautiful evening and even more so, gratitude for the awareness of my patterns of striving, clinging and attachment. I noticed how deeply difficult it can be to remain present with what is, without being worried, concerned or scared that this beautiful moment will never manifest again. And then to have the wisdom to say to myself, “This moment can never truly be recreated; it’s fleeting. The best thing I can do is be present enough to truly experience and appreciate it.”

It got late, I was getting cold and I finally decided it was time to get out of the tubs and go to bed. I once again, so quickly and blindly slipped into my unconscious game of “I’ll go to bed after seeing just one more star,” but quickly laughed it off as I acknowledged the power of my patterns. I ascended the big hill towards my room, ritualistically stopping halfway to soak in the view of the dark sky and bright moon shining on the ocean.

As I stood at that little jut-out on the path, I looked up and instantly saw a huge shooting star go all the way across the sky. I smiled and literally out loud said, “Thank you.” And as soon as the words left my lips, another star graced the heavens. I felt a deep joy for the moment; for as soon as I had let go of my need to hold onto something, there it appeared. And I no longer felt the need to wait for just one more. I had all that I needed, and it was more than enough.

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