Before I launch into the details of this online dating disaster, I want to be clear: this is not a soppy story. Please put your Kleenex tissues away. This is instead a story of triumph; where a terrible dating experience turned into an experience that changed my life for the better.

I’ll start at the beginning. Two years ago, when I was 29, I felt the ‘Oh-my-god- I’m-almost-30-and-single-help-I-need-to-date-more’ panic. So I hit online dating sites.

I started chatting with a cute 36-year-old. His profile photo had an artsy flair and his description was witty and eloquent. Tick tick tick. We moved from online messaging to SMS, and quickly arranged a brunch date.

With his profile picture open on my iPhone, I searched inside and outside of the nominated restaurant but saw no sign of him. When I heard ‘Jordana’ I turned around to see a guy, who I didn’t recognize, in the corner of the outdoor courtyard. As my date stood up, it was obvious he got creative in multiple profile categories. You know, you’ve heard these lies before; he looked 10 years older than his profile photo, 15 kgs heavier, and an entire foot shorter than his promised height. Don’t get me wrong – personality trumps looks any day – but I have no time for dishonesty.

As I sat down, already questioning his integrity, we embarked on a date from hell. We had nothing in common, we somehow found ourselves arguing, and he was sweating because he was incredibly hungover. Charming. I couldn’t wait for it to end.

Finally free, I felt horrified. I was like ‘I’m going to be single and alone forever.’ In a state of shock I rang my best friend. Struggling to string a sentence together, the only way I could communicate the extent of the awkwardness and humiliation

I experienced was by relaying the broken back-and-forth conversation, imitating all of his hungover “uhhs” and “errrs” along the way. My friend was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks.

So I called another friend. And told her the story too, with all “uhhs” and “errrs” included. By the end we were both laughing so hard we could barely breathe. I forgot about the anxiety and emptiness I felt as I left the restaurant; I was too busy hysterically laughing. And that’s when I realised ‘I need to do comedy because it’s therapeutic’. And to this day, it’s still therapeutic.

I’m totally and utterly addicted to social media and my iPhone, and I use comedy as a way to cope with my addiction. Life balance is something I’ve never been able to achieve. And tech-life balance seems… well, virtually impossible. So I cope with my social media addiction by making jokes about it. If I can talk about my obsession and dependency on stage – and use laughter to connect with audience members – it’s an incredibly healing experience.

Last year, I wrote a comedy show called Social Needia: The Epidemic – entirely dedicated to my social media and technology addiction, and my attempted online detox — which I debuted in the 2013 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

This year I hit the 2014 festival with another social media-themed show titled Like Me, Love Me, Retweet Me, which explores the meaning of honesty online, and exactly why making myself look good on social media is a full-time job. Whether I’m delivering jokes about my desperate need to be Facebook LIKED, important social media Dos and DON’Ts, or the fact that I invest most of my offline time into creating and curating my perfect online self, if the crowd laughs, it’s proof I’m not the only one dealing with internet issues.

Social media is impacting everyone. We’re all trying to find ways to understand what it means and how best to integrate it, introduce it, or manage it, in our lives. I’m not sure I’ll ever achieve tech-life balance but I’m confident I’ll be able to cope with my ‘social needia’ as long as I keep writing and performing comedy because support, in the form of laughter, is the best therapy on offer.

So the next time you have a bad online dating experience don’t despair. You never know… It could turn out to be the best ‘worst experience’ of your life.

Posted on 2/12/2014

Written by Jordana Borensztajn

Jordana Borensztajn is a social media and iPhone addict, comedian, journalist and social media trainer. She drinks a lot of coffee, loves hanging out in Apple stores, and will never, ever count the hours she spends each week on social media. It would be way too terrifying. Tweet her any time at @JordanaOZ or connect with her on Facebook.

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