canstockphoto2780627By Kay Bransford

Our kids are online constantly and most of us have no idea exactly our kids are getting into. We’ve talked with them about the permanence of the medium, counseled them on how to behave and interact with others, but yet we still fail to recognize that we have rights, as parents, to their accounts.

The FBI estimates that 73% of teens between 12 and 17 years old have social media profiles of some kind. As a parent you need to know what their profiles are and how to access them. Should you want to access your minor child’s account, you would have as much luck trying to get into another adult’s account without the proper info.

You know that little box you click to okay sign up for a new social media or email account? What you agree to (usually without reading it) says that no one else has any right to access that account. So your kids are signing up, and even in some cases, fudging their age to bypass the age restrictions implemented due to privacy laws.

In today’s technological world, preteens and teenagers are getting online earlier and earlier. Consumer Reports estimated in 2011 that 7.5 million Facebook users were under the age of 13, and at least 25% of young people pretend to be older in order to gain more online access.

I actually signed up for Facebook years ago because my son was being bullied and I wanted to understand what was going on. He accepted my friendship, but as he got older, he moved onto a variety of new accounts, from Snapchat to Vine.

With cyberbullying and online predators at large, and the risk of mental health issues due to increased Internet use, a child navigating the waters of the Internetcan be a parent’s worst nightmare. That’s why it’s important to have your children’s online password information, not only to prevent disaster from happening, but as an organizational tool to access important information relating to your kid.

Last year I started to have my son document his online accounts and put them in a sealed envelope I hope I never have to open. In a few weeks he leaves for college and before he goes, he’s providing me with an updated roster of accounts. He knows my intent is not to snoop, it’s been several years now that I’ve been leaving a list of all my own passcodes by the computer. I simply ask that he share what I’ve been sharing for years—an emergency backup to online accounts loved ones would have no other way to access. It’s about trust, honesty, and respect.

Even adults have no backup plan for their own digital footprint. Our current estate planning practices and durable powers of attorney can’t penetrate any user terms of agreement that, once signed, become bond. So it’s imperative that having your children document this information for you.

In the past year, both Facebook and Google have made changes to address the growing frustration of family members grieving over a loss. However, the reality is that more things happen while we’re alive that may require a loved one to step in and cover for us online. Covering your digital personae is not just tragedies.

The reality of making a backup of your online assets didn’t come to me because I was a parent. It’s because I’m a daughter. My dad became ill and my mom had no idea what any of his online access codes were or where they were stored. We just let them languish. After that experience, I made sure I documented my passcodes for my family.

Turns out, exchanging online access details with my husband has benefited me many times. Most recently, when my husband was traveling and my son broke his mobile phone. The only way to get my son a discounted replacement was to log into my husband’s AT&T account. To get in, not only did I need his username and passcode, but I also had to answer a security question.

While this topic is important to discuss with your children, creating a backup system is really a family affair. I hope you will consider having your children create a backup that goes into a sealed envelope you never have a need to open.

For some free templates to document usernames, passcodes, security questions, and PINs, download a free chapter from the best-selling book MemoryBanc: Your Workbook for Organizing Life at www.MemoryBanc.com/tame. 

 

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