Ever notice how we’ve become good at building connected technology and broadcasting status updates but we struggle staying connected to the people and goals that matter most to us in life?

Looking back it’s easy to see how this happened.

Three hundred years ago, if you decided to be adventurous and build a startup in the Wild West, you said goodbye to your family and friends and community, put your belongings on the back of a few mules, and headed for the Pacific Ocean. From time to time you might write a letter and send it back with a person heading to your community.

You might get one chance for the rest of your life to send a message — and there was no guarantee that it would even get to them.

But then we realize that being connected matters, so we invented covered wagons and created a network of community gossip bolstered by cowboys on fast riding horses called the Pony Express. You could send a status update every day of the week if you wanted to.

Then the railroad made connection even more possible. You could show up in person. Not just send a letter. From one end of the country to the other and back in weeks instead of life times. It made real connection and romance and business possible.

That wasn’t fast enough for for the entrepreneurs of the West. So with a series of dashes and dots they invented a system where telegraph messengers were able to communicate from one into the country to the other in seconds. Then came the telephone where humans could talk ear-to-ear instead of interpreting the dots and dashes coming across the telegraph wire.

Then came conference calling and and direct mail. Your favorite brands could send you handwritten letters selling the wonderment of their latest goods. Catalogs full of shiny products kept you updated on the latest fashions and trendy attire coming soon. Email messaging burst into the scene allowing instantaneous correspondence from your desktop computer. We finally learned how to send shorter messages from a mobile phones called text messages. But that wasn’t good enough so we invented Skype and Twitter and MySpace and Groupon.

Now we can share pictures of our favorite events and our current location, the best deals for buying espresso, and when our favorite celebrity’s new movie is going to launch. And all of it means everything. And that “everything” means absolutely nothing.

We know more about everyone, but we don’t seem to be any happier. Your phone chirps a little louder. You have less livestock to have to manage each morning. But you still don’t feel comfortable and connected to what’s going on around you. Look around. Ask yourself “What’s wrong?”

You’re freaked out that you might have missed something. Concerned that someone else’s status update might be so mind-blowingly awesome that not reading it ten seconds after it is posted will mean a truly horrible, no good, very bad rest of the day for you.

Is it any wonder that you struggle to accomplish audacious feats of wonder? Is it really all that surprising that you find yourself distracted and confused, triple tasking between what’s important, what’s cool, and the people you care about most?

Here are a few things to remember:

1. Ignorance isn’t just bliss, it is very distracting. You probably don’t need to know everything about everyone else — just you.

2. Just because someone else is upset or has an angry opinion doesn’t mean you should let their anger ruin your day too.

3. Have a goal and work towards accomplishing it each day without distraction. You really can’t be obsessed about you and them at the same time.

4. Focus on building connections with people outside of digital devices. Shake hands. Care. Listen. Invest in “human” relationships.

5. Live in the conversation you’re in right now. If it’s not worth you staying focused, don’t have the conversation in the first place.

6. Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not just because it’s easier to pretend when everything is digital.

7. Don’t be rude with your conversation. Answer the emails people send you. Respond with kindness. No one likes a jerk.

Being connected is a matter the choices you make. A way of life. Don’t let the chirping of your phone steal your dreams. What if your obsession with “not missing out” means that you lose your chance to turn your bold ideas into a raging success? Seems downright silly, doesn’t it?

We’re pretty awesome at inventing ways to connect. You can expect that the whirlwind of connected technology will only accelerate. Maybe it’s time for a reality check. A priority check. A gut check.

Are you connecting to what really matters for you?

Posted on 2/21/2014

Written by Dan Waldschmidt

Dan Waldschmidt is an international business strategist, speaker, author, and extreme athlete. His consulting firm solves complex marketing and business strategy problems for savvy companies all over the world. Dow Jones calls his Edgy Conversations blog one of the top sales sites on the internet. He’s been profiled in Business Week, INC Magazine, BBC, Fox News, The Today Show, and Business Insider, has been the featured guest on dozens of radio programs, and has published hundreds of articles on progressive business strategy. He is author of EDGY Conversations: How Ordinary People Achieve Outrageous Success.

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