This week, we caught up with Crystal Paine, creator of the immensely popular personal finance blog Money Saving Mom and author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, out this week! Crystal shares key insights and experiences from her book and blogging journey. 

1. We live in a world where we’re addicted to being busy. How was your own busy life affecting your marriage with your husband? What made you turn things around?

Six years into our marriage, I found myself the mother of three young children while also juggling the responsibilities of a very demanding online business. Being a very Type A kind of person, I didn’t want to admit my limitations. So I kept piling on new to-do’s and saying yes to new commitments.

Over time, this led to exhaustion, burnout, and the breakdown of my health. But I pushed ahead, thinking if I’d just get a little more organized or sleep a little less, I’d find a way to balance everything. However, it just wasn’t working: not only were my kids suffering and my health suffering, but my marriage was, too. I was always rushing through my days trying to get through my overwhelming to-do list. And I was constantly too busy to take time to invest in my marriage.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the sparks stopped flying. We were sinking into a rut of just living together and making it through the days, leaving behind the joy and beauty of our once-strong romance.

The downward spiral continued until I hit rock bottom. I was spent, done, and ready to give up. There was just no way I could keep living in such a continual state of weariness. Feeling at the end of my rope, I finally came to my husband in desperation one night telling him, “I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep living like this. This is too much!”

He said some of the wisest words to me in that moment: “Crystal, you know you’re bringing most of this on yourself.” I didn’t want to hear that, but deep down I knew it was true. I didn’t have to keep heaping my plate full with commitments. I didn’t have to say yes to everyone and everything. I was the problem. But I was also the solution. Recognizing this truth freed me in a powerful way and set me on a journey to slowly climb up out of that pit of despair and into a place of living with passion and purpose!

2. In your book, you advise readers to stop trying to do it all. Should we say “no” to commitments more often than we say “yes”?

I believe one of the hardest things for women to do is to say no. We are pulled in every direction and spread too thin. Despite this, we continue to feel obligated to commit to more in a quest to be it all and do it all.

Picture a book that had no margins — the words completely filled each and every page of the entire book. Would that book be an easy read? No, it would feel chaotic and busy, probably even overwhelming. So it is with our lives. If we don’t allow white space to breathe and refresh, but instead pack every moment of every day full to the brim with to-do’s and projects, our lives will feel chaotic, disorderly, and exhausting.

In Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, I walk you through how to create a ‘Best Stuff’ List – a list of the most important things in your life. These are the few things that will matter in 25 years from now, that you want to wrap your life around.

Creating a ‘Best Stuff’ List has given me tremendous clarity when it comes to saying no. I can hold up each new opportunity or commitment in light of my list to see if it aligns. If not, I can guiltlessly say no because I know that while it might be a great opportunity, it will only serve to distract me from more important things.

3. What are some tips for how we can be more intentional with our bank accounts?

Food and clothing are two areas that most families spend quite a bit of money on each month. They are also two of the easiest budget categories to lower. One of my favorite ways for reducing the costs of food and clothing is by pairing coupons with sales. When you’re getting ready to purchase clothes online or in-store, visit RetailMeNot.com for coupon codes and printable coupons you can use at the store or site where you’re planning to shop. It just takes 30 seconds to search for these and can often save you 5 to 15% off your purchase total! Pair this coupon with a sale to further stretch your dollar.

The same principle can be applied to groceries. Look at your local grocery store’s sales flier to see what’s on sale. Search for items on a coupon database (we have one on MoneySavingMom.com) to see if there are any printable coupons available and you’ll often be able to pay pennies on the dollar for your grocery purchases.

By finding quick and easy ways to save money on things you’re already planning to buy, you can free up wiggle room in your budget and put the extra money toward paying down debt, saving up to pay cash for something, or giving to a cause you believe in. It might not seem like these little savings will make a big difference, but even just shaving $15 per week off your budget adds up to $780 per year in extra money!

4. How can we take the step beyond getting out of survival mode to rediscovering our passions?

I’m a firm believer in the power of goal-setting. Why? Because it has changed my life! It’s taken me from a place of spending all day running around in circles putting out fires, to a place of purpose – where every day I’m doing things that are inching me closer to where I want to be in a year from now.

So many women feel like they can’t set any goals because they are too busy with life. Yet I believe if you want to live a life of purpose and fulfillment, it’s imperative that you set goals. If you’re new to the idea of goal-setting, don’t go set 33 massive and audacious goals. Start with a few very simple, realistic, and specific goals. Things like:

• I will lose three pounds over the next four weeks.
• I will set aside an additional $25 per week for the next eight weeks to pay off one of our credit cards.
• Or, I will exercise for 20 minutes four times per week for the next three weeks.

Each of these goals is actionable and time-bound. You have an exact way to measure the goal so that you know whether or not you meet it. Plus, you can break it down even further (i.e. I will lose .25 pounds every two days. Or, I will save $5 each weekday.)

Having even just a few small, realistic goals to work toward each week can transform your entire motivation for living. You are actually doing something and going somewhere, instead of just aimlessly spinning your wheels and exhausting yourself. It’s amazing the difference this will make in your overall energy and passion for life!

5. Where can our community buy your book?

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode is available from Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-
Million, and other retail and online chains. For more information on the book and to read a sample chapter, visit SayGoodbyetoSurvivalMode.com.

Posted on 1/21/2014

Written by Crystal Paine

Crystal Paine is a wife, homeschool mom of three, author, and speaker. In 2007, she founded MoneySavingMom, a site that has since grown to become one of the most popular blogs on the web, currently averaging more than two million readers per month. Her mission is to challenge women to wisely steward their time and resources and live life on purpose.

Comments

comments