I am a true lover of all things tech and would even consider myself a tech-o-maniac; however, since becoming a parent I haven’t been as enthused about keeping up with the latest trends. Why?  I am terrified my kid will be exponentially smarter than me in terms of technology.  As a parent I want to monitor him and help him navigate the online world, which means I will always have to be one step ahead. But I’m not sure my small steps will compare to his giant leaps.

As a self-proclaimed helicopter mom (one who constantly hovers over her kid to protect him), I feel like I won’t be able to control the endless amounts of information and gadgets he’ll be exposed to throughout his youth. I am seriously considering cultivating all the moms in my neighborhood to conduct FBI-like sting operations, just to keep tabs on our kids. Maybe we should even hold classes on the latest it products and information once a week.  You think I’m kidding? Far from it.

As soon as you think you’ve mastered a device, a newer and better one is launched. And since our kids are so-called “digital natives,” they will always be able to master them more quickly and easily. In all honesty, how are we supposed to stay on top of these brainiacs?

When I was younger, technology consisted of an abacus and a rotary telephone. If you were really cool you owned a Texas Instruments calculator.  In high school, I learned how to type on an actual typewriter and in the process used enough Wite-Out to paint the entire school.  In computer courses, we entered lines of code which made a green cursor move around on a black screen. Very profound stuff, I know.

You might think I went to high school at the turn of the century. But this was the mid-nineties – not that long ago. When I look back, it’s hard to comprehend how far technology and culture have changed since then.

Kids today are much more advanced. My son is currently in preschool and learns about prisms, three-dimensional shapes, hexagons and right-degree angles all on the latest Macintosh desktop computers.  These are things I learned in my sophomore Geometry class on a chalkboard.

In fact, as I sit here writing this article, my son is on the iPad researching the Theory of Relativity. Okay, not really, but I am sure they have an app for that, and it will probably be listed on his syllabus for the fall. How can a toddler make an educated, successful person like me feel so inadequate? Unfortunately, I suspect this feeling is only going to get worse as we both get older.

I know that in the coming years I will have to find a balance between becoming a certified stalker and letting him evolve and grow with technology. Otherwise, I’ll probably resort to putting tracking devices on him, which I’m sure he’ll hack to show he’s studying at the library, when in reality he is hanging out with a girl I wouldn’t approve of. Or, worse, he’ll just turn me into a robot.  This may seem far-fetched to many, but at the rate things are changing, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Here is some advice I plan to follow to find balance in the future, and also to prevent my son from turning me into a fem-bot:

• Remind him how I gave him life and how he gave me stretch marks.

• Remind him how much he loves me and how I used to change his diapers.

• Remind him what life was like before the technology era. You know, when we had to utilize the Dewey Decimal System to do actual research and couldn’t just Google things.

• Remind him that trees grow outside and prove it to him by spending a lot of time in nature.

• Continue family dinners and outings with a ban on gadgets.

• Limit the iPad from babysitting him too much.

• If all else fails, I will resort to bribery. What young boy doesn’t love chocolate or a new pair of Jordan’s?

Hopefully at least one of these will work in my favor. I’ll keep you posted.

Posted on 8/13/2013

Written by Holly Rust

Holly Rust is a native Texan but currently resides in the great city of Chicago with her husband, son, pregnant belly and their Chihuahua. She spent over 10 years in Marketing Communications as a Media Writer and in the Luxury Hotel Industry as the Director of Events.  She recently became a Freelance Writer and Editor (www.hollyrust.com), which has allowed more time for sanity and her family. She is also the Co-Founder of the popular humor blog, www.mothersguidetosanity.com where she shares stories about the arduous task of chasing a toddler, while managing career and family. Holly considers herself the ultimate foodie and loves to travel.  She is also an avid runner and completed the 2011 Chicago Marathon.

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