I really don’t think it’s that people mean to create their ideal self for the world on Instagram (or Facebook or Pinterest or Twitter, for that matter). It’s just that people tend to want to share the good stuff. The I-grew-12-tomatoes-and-made-them-into-fresh-marinara-before-they-rotted-on-the-counter kind of stuff. The my-kid-wrote-me-a-love-note-instead-of-biting-me-today kind of stuff. The watch-this-old-piece-of-junk-become-a-beautifully-upcycled-changing-table-in-just-12-painstaking-weekends kind of stuff. You know, the kind of stuff that makes the rest of us think, “Wow, maybe I should be doing that…”

Not only does technology give us access to all kinds of important information, it also has the uncanny ability to fill us with self doubt. Especially as moms.

It seems my days are filled with photos of beautifully (organically) packed Bento boxes, outrageously creative DIY Halloween costumes, pristinely organized playrooms, and gourmet-ly cooked farm-fresh dinners. I’m fed advice about what to say to my kids, what not to say to my kids, and what volume to use when saying it all. The pressure as a mom to be perfect — or perhaps more importantly to look it — is everywhere.

But the truth is, motherhood — heck, life — is messy. Dinners get burned (a lot in my house), Bento boxes get left uneaten, and playrooms get played in. We don’t always have the right words, or react to situations with grace — no matter how many books or articles we’ve read.

Those moments that may not be photo worthy, or share worthy, are real. They’re the moments when we learn, we grow, and we remember that our lives are full in spite of our inability to actually internalize every piece of advice and inspiration we come across online.

So why is it so easy to get caught up in the crazies and feel like we’re not doing as much as we could — or should? Perhaps it’s because we spend more time admiring other people’s strengths than our own. I recently attended a Disney event where Mindee Doney, founder of Boogie Wipes and Juicebox Idea Consulting, said something I found totally empowering and liberating. We can’t all be Supermoms at everything. But we can be Supermoms at a few things.

So let’s all agree to give ourselves a break.

Let’s applaud the women out there rocking their powers and shouting about their hard-earned successes from social media streams everywhere. Home chefs. DIY divas. Model mamas. Organizational queens. PTO princesses. Ladder conquerors. Hippy chicks. Snapshot artistes. Fashionistas…

But most importantly, let’s take a moment to applaud ourselves. To take note of the things we’re doing well — the beautiful moments in our own lives. Because no matter what it looks like, nobody is doing it all just right.

But we each have the potential to be doing right by ourselves, and our families. To find our unique powers and use them wisely. Use them to show our kids that they are loved. Use them to show ourselves that we are strong. Yes, when used for good, our powers will help us do amazing things. (Whether they’re Instagram-able or not.)

Written by Amy Heinz 

Amy Heinz is a San Francisco Bay Area mom of three and the writer behind Using Our Words — a parenting blog filled with lessons she’s learned (usually the hard way), laughs she’s enjoyed (mostly at her own expense), and tears she’s shed (this mama’s got heart). You can also find her on Instagram (where she highlights #motherhoodunfiltered), Facebook, and Twitter (where she’s constantly proving *this* mom is far from perfect).

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