You’re a tech savvy person with good manners.  You know that sometimes only a handwritten card will do.  You know what constitutes TMI on Facebook and the right way to use hashtags on Twitter. Then one day, perhaps suddenly or with great anticipation, you realize you’re pregnant.  Or engaged.  Or got a promotion.  Or have other wonderful, life-changing news to share with your circle.

Now it’s a whole new ballgame.

Sharing the good news

Before you rush to start pinning nursery themes or corner-office décor, be sure to check in with anyone else involved in your good news.  For example, in the case of pregnancy, make time to talk things over with your spouse or partner.  Two extraverts or two introverts may see eye to eye on how to broadcast the glad tidings.  But if you and your co-parent have different styles, seek a middle ground that lets one person have their moment, while still respecting the other’s comfort zone.  And since there’s a little one on the way, you might as well get comfortable with negotiating, and should consider this conversation merely the first of many.

In terms of technology, social media can be hard to resist for its easy and instant gratification.  With the push of a button you can convey your message to every friend you’ve ever had, and beyond.  But before you click “Post,” give yourself the option to experience some of those moments in person.  Randi Zuckerberg notes, “It’s always a special, unforgettable experience to receive a phone call or visit from a close friend announcing their pregnancy or other major life event.  In the digital age where people eagerly turn to social media to announce life events, some of that intimacy is lost.  Before you post the big news online, make sure you share it with your close friends and family members who are probably expecting to hear it directly from you.”

Also make sure that you don’t jump the gun.  Whether it’s a job offer, a cross-country move, or a new arrival, you may want to wait until the ink is dry before sharing.  Startup coach Kevin Madsen learned this the hard way when he tweeted about his wife going into labor.  It turned out to be a false alarm and the baby didn’t make an appearance until a week later.

Documenting your experience

Even though you know that women have been getting married, buying houses, and having babies for ages, when it’s all happening to you, it’s terrifying and fascinating all at the same time.  Whereas our 20th century sisters might have kept a journal, modern gals have the option to make that journal readable by the world.

Parliamentarian Susan Leahy reports, “I created a website for my pregnancy using iWeb, which allowed me to include photos, trips to the doula, and general thoughts about my experience.  I would just send the link to my family and friends and they could be a part of the whole process.”  This techie solution enabled her to share as much as she liked, knowing everyone who visited her site was there specifically for bump updates.  The same goes for big trips and other adventures.  By creating a site, only people who want to follow your journey will check it, saving you from spamming everyone in your network.

Yvette Hwee, founder of the company BabeePlay, comments, “I was really cognizant of not posting too many baby photos because I didn’t want my non-parent friends and acquaintances to get baby-fatigued.”  Memoir coach Kimberlee Auerbach Berlin adds, “I am careful on Facebook because I have lots of friends who are former students, ex-boyfriends, colleagues, and strangers.  I have asked friends and family not to tag me in photos, because I want to be in control of what I share.  Something that might not seem sacred to someone else might be to me.”

Digital etiquette tip: Birth announcements

Now that everything is done with a click instead of a calligrapher, what are the guidelines for physical birth announcements?  Leahy confesses to a streamlined approach.  “We didn’t do a formal birth announcement for either of our babies.  I am amazed and inspired by people who are able to make the time for these sorts of traditions but it has never been my thing.  We sent a good old-fashioned email to a list that we created announcing the birth of both of our babies.”

Berlin chose to use BabyCenter’s online birth announcement feature, which provides a selection of designs similar to traditional print announcements.  This web-based option and others like it allow recipients to leave their congratulations in a comments section.

According to EmilyPost.com, “(I)f you have already sent electronic ones, you would not repeat the announcement with a mailed one.  One announcement per household is all you should send.”

Written by Jennie Wong

Jennie Wong, Ph.D., is a nationally syndicated business columnist and blogger for McClatchy-Tribune and the author of “Ask the Mompreneur: Small Business Advice on Starting and Growing Your Own Company.”  She is the founder of CartCentric.com, a free social commerce site that lets moms friendsource product recommendations and reviews.  You can follow her on Twitter @DrJennieWong.

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