The worst has happened. I thought I’d be prepared but there’s no way that I am. Do I go home? Do I continue on? Can I continue on?

I left my phone at home.

This morning, I raced to catch my train, managed to squeeze myself on board, reached for my pocket and found it empty. Checked the other pocket—also empty. Though many San Franciscans would have you believe otherwise, I don’t think it’s socially acceptable to freak out on public transportation, so I’m going to try to get through this as best I can.

8:43 I’ve already reached for my pocket twice. It’s like my brain is refusing to accept that this is really happening (and honestly, I’m with you, brain!).

8:44 Okay, this isn’t terrible. Only five people are actively on their phones (trying to make me jealous, probably), and one other person is writing in a notebook, like me! Maybe she left her phone at home, too.

8:45 Alright, I can do this. I spent the first fifteen years of my life without a phone. This is no big deal.

8:47 I can’t do this. Two more people just took their phones out. I feel so uncool.

8:48 This is the longest train ride I’ve ever taken.

8:52 When did people stop making eye contact? What is this, Finland?

8:55 Finally off the train. I’m officially late for work but have no way of letting my manager know. Will he fire me? Or think I’m dead? This is stressful.

8:57 Thank goodness watches are fashion accessories or I would have no idea what time it is.

9:10 I can see what people mean when they suggest you “unplug” from your devices. Colors are brighter, sounds are louder, I’m much more in tune with what’s going on around me. It doesn’t feel great, but I can see how much attention my phone demands. That said, I genuinely feel like a piece of me is missing. Probably like what a dog feels like when you take its collar off: scared, but free.

9:12 Just reached for my phone again. Oops.

9:23 Finally at work, and this whole situation has made me paranoid. I’m probably missing so much on social media. I need to calm down.

10:03 Went downstairs to get tea, and made eye contact with everyone along the way. For some reason staring down at the floor to avoid looking at people is way more awkward than staring down at a phone.

10:21 I wonder if anyone has texted me today?

10:37 I’m in a meeting for another hour and a half, and my computer is at 20%. This must be what dying feels like.

11:05 I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

11:17 I’m in charge of my company’s corporate Instagram account, and just realized I don’t know how to post to Instagram without my phone. Oops.

11:35 Dead. No phone, no computer, no life. I feel like I’m floating through space. Naked.

11:57 Back at my desk, computer plugged in. That was a harrowing 22 minutes.

12:15 I’ve gone to the bank to make a wire transfer to a foreign company. I printed out the bank information, but neglected to write down how much money I’m supposed to send. I could find that info on my phone, but…

12:40 Figured it out. $146 Euros.

1:17 Back at work, money transferred. We’re all good.

1:18 Just reached for my phone (again), as if this whole day has been a dream.

1:50 This is starting to be not so bad. I’m more focused on what people are saying and where I’m going, and less focused on getting Facebook updates. That dog collar analogy is starting to make more sense, but the sensation that something is missing has lessened considerably.

2:45 Went almost an hour without thinking about my phone! Success.

2:58 Okay, there are definitely ups and downs, but the small moments of panic when I realize I’m disconnected from everyone aren’t quite so extreme anymore. That said, only a few more hours until I’m reunited with my phone!

3:30 No phantom phone grabs recently. Maybe I could actually do this regularly!

3:37 Sigh. I really, really want to know if anyone has called or texted me today. Because Facebook, Twitter, and email aren’t enough, I tell you!

3:55 Coworker just told me that I have iMessage on my Macbook Pro, so I can just get texts there. I think I’m actually going to try to hold off until I get home.

4:30 Okay, forget this. I’m going home early…to take care of chores.

5:05 Reunited with my true love, iPhone 5S. Four missed calls, seven missed texts (one was spam), and a whole lot of catching up to do on Instagram.

Today started off extremely stressful. I felt like I was missing a piece of myself—but fortunately this was mixed with a pleasant sense of detachment from technology. While I’d like to have my phone with me the majority of the time, I realized that I could stand to put the phone away more often, especially during those times when I should be giving people or situations my full attention.

By Ali Wunderman

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